Such a Chapin May Quotes Post (#25)
Sasha Chapin, Sasha Chapin, Sasha Chapin, Sasha Chapin, and Sasha Chapin
I’m a sucker for pithy advice. (Of course, this is one of the primary motivators behind this recurring quotes series.) Every once in a while, a collection of advice is so dense with insight that I can’t help but grab a whole string of pearls. The last time this happened was with Kevin Kelly’s Excellent Advice for Living.
This time, it’s with ’s “50 things I know”
Most people overrate the difficulty of hard conversations, and underrate how good it is to have them. Conflict avoidance slowly rots your whole life, and many people are about eight awkward discussions from a much-improved existence. –Sasha Chapin
The people who will make you feel warm and fuzzy when you’re sad, and the people who will give you brutally honest feedback, are usually different people. Ideally you want to have relationships with both kinds, and reward them for their strengths, rather than getting mad at them for failing to do what they’re bad at. –Sasha Chapin
People really and truly cannot read your mind. It’s easy to think that people are ignoring your wants or emotions because they don’t care about you. But it’s likely that they have no idea what those are. If you’ve told them, they’ve likely forgotten, and may need a reminder—they have their own whole crowded bubble of consciousness going on! –Sasha Chapin
Sometimes, persistence is not a virtue. I would trade my other abilities to be an exceptional songwriter. I gave it a serious enough try to know that I don’t have the knack, for years, and I’m not interested in being publicly mediocre at the performing arts. My life is incalculably better for having let the dream go. The world will be happiest with a certain range of behaviors from you—life will be easier if you find a place in that range where you’re content. –Sasha Chapin
Talent doesn’t feel like you’re amazing. It feels like the difficulties that trouble others are mysteriously absent in your case. Don’t ask yourself where your true gifts lie. Ask what other people seem weirdly bad at. –Sasha Chapin
Environmental influence is the most effective form of behavioral control. Accordingly, if you want radical change, radically change your environment. –Sasha Chapin
People are too eager to recommend their current lifestyle and disavow their developmentally important previous decisions. For example, you will notice people who had a lot of casual sex when they were young saying later that committed relationships are obviously superior to dating casually—neglecting to notice that their wild young days were psychologically necessary for them. –Sasha Chapin
There are two modes of experience: appreciative, and evaluative…Much of sanity, and happiness, consists of finding the right mode for the right moment. The appreciative mode is terrible for debugging your business plan. But the evaluative mode is terrible for having a first date. A lot of capable, intelligent people suffer because they do not have the ability to switch out of the evaluative mode, or even notice that they’re in it. –Sasha Chapin
Freedom is earned by confronting things that embarrass and trigger you, over and over again, until you are cringe-proof in your desired environment. –Sasha Chapin
Simplistic stories about happiness leave out crucial details. For example: Yes, relationships are more important than career, ultimately. But some career success might give you a greater ability to locate people you’re compatible with later on, as friends or partners. –Sasha Chapin
Lots of great wisdom here. Thanks for sharing.