Okay, guys. So. BELIEVE me when I say that Crandles are the gift you did not know you need to get yourself. Like, they will make you feel like a little kid again, but also? So sophisticated, or whatever—and they come in SO many colors. I like the earth tones because they feel more natural, but all Crandles are actually sustainably sourced I think—except how would you even know because they’re super chic, you know? Here’s one I drew of my sister, I really like the way the gold shades her face and kind of melts into her mouth.
Oh, and here’s another one I drew of me, hope you guys like it! People say I’m not as cute as my sister, and I’m like: Really? She kind of has, like, a bitch face no offense.
Hey guys, so pro tip, when your Crandle gets like this you should just turn it upside down and use the other side, since the wick actually goes all the way through and you can literally just burn the Crandle from bo—Jesus CHRIST shut UP, QUEENIE. Sorry guys, my dog is, like, spazzing out.
Okay, but anyway, all you need to do when you want to flip it is just lick your fingers like this and pinch the wax and then that’s it: new Crandle! It hurts for like a second but not too bad, and it helps to get it into a point you can draw with. See, here’s one where I fucked the pinch up, which is why the tip looks all gross and mushroomy like that. Lolz.
Okay. You guys. Not to be, like, TMI, but my sister has been doing this thing lately where all she talks about is how hard it is to get recruited to a top ten lacrosse school and maintain a three-point-eight at the same time, and it’s like: Who gives a shit? Slash you think that’s hard, try literally branding yourself on social media without any help. Sorry for ranting, I’m just sooo over it. The worst is when people at school are like, Wait, aren’t you guys identical?, basically asking why aren’t my grades as good. And it’s just like: You fucking dumbass, do I LOOK like I have blonde hair and blue eyes and and a giant fucking forehead? Just saying…
Also to the people leaving the nasty comments, the reason I hold my Crandles like this is because they’re too thick to grip like a normal pen. So seriously grow up.
Hey guys, thanks so much for all the good vibes! Honestly did not expect that last vid to blow up, but I’m definitely gonna be keeping it extra real with y’all from now on.
Speaking of which: Ho. Ly. SHIT, they just came out with a new line of SKINCARE Crandles, a.k.a. Skandles, and they are amazing. Right now, it’s basically just for blemish treatment or whatever, but on the DL, they reached out to me because of my videos, and they’re actually gonna send me a few free color samples that are getting released soon. So yeah, super psyched for that, throw me a follow if you want all the updates!
Hey hey. Sorry for not posting any vids yet this week—I’ve just been super busy with applications, and then my BITCH dad took my phone away, but I finally got it back.
I’ve also been playing around with this new Crandle technique where I, like, press my cuticles in the wax to make this really cool feathered texture. Just keep a cup of water nearby if you try it, because the wax lowkey gets pretty hot! But yeah, that’s basically how I made this mixed-media picture that I think came out really good—here it is.
It’s of this park we used to take Queenie to, back when she was a puppy. I know it’s not super realistic, but there’s something about the leaf piles that just…I don’t know. I guess making those, I just remembered jumping in the leaves as a little kid, and that, like, decaying leaf smell—it’s almost stale, but also kind of sweet…you know what I mean?
Anywayyys. All my early applications are in, so I’m just chilling for a bit now and making more art and videos and stuff, so I’ll see you guys soon!
Hiii you guyyys, rise and grind, amiright? JK, I just couldn’t fall back to sleep, I’ve been pretty tight since last week after Skandles got recalled—I’m guessing you guys heard—because they weren’t FDA approved yet or whatever. Also apparently the wax formula is sixty percent pure cachalot oil? Which is supposedly less sustainable than original Crandles? Such bullshit. Like just donate to the rainforest or something to cancel it out!
Oh, also, I heard back from my first school yesterday, so I’ve just been thinking about that a lot, but it’s not even one I really wanted to go, so I’m not too worried. But yeah since I was up early, I was just doing some research about Skandles, and it turns out the cachalot oil means they don’t get as hot as regular Crandles, but otherwise it’s basically the same thing. So then I was like WAIT what if I just used regular Crandles on my FACE—I mean how else am I gonna get my color samples, right?
Just kidding! I’m not that dumb.
But actually I did do these henna patterns all over my arms just to try it out—here let me show you. You can see the skin is peeling a tiny bit where I kept the Crandle wax on too long, but it honestly doesn’t hurt because after a while your arm starts getting this tingly feeling, doesn’t it look so pretty, I’m obSESSED.
What’s UP people, sorry it’s been a while, I know it’s like three in the morning, but I’ve just been pretty hype for the past few hours because I finally stole my phone back after my fucking SEXIST dad took it away again because he’s too much of a PUSSY to even, like, have a conversation with me about it, and also I realized there’s still a bunch more schools I’m applying to regular decision, so it’s not a big deal if I got rejected by one school and I’m still waiting to hear back from another one, even though my sister the fucking golden child was already accepted early to Northwestern—she keeps telling me she’s sure I’ll get in somewhere too, and it’s like: Thanks? I know that? But actually I was thinking I might just want to just do cosmetology school now because that’s obviously more of my passion or whatever, and I’ve been playing around with some, like, pretty rad stuff that I actually think you guys are REALLY gonna like, here let me turn the camera around and show you—isn’t it so COOL, I love it, how the wax looks all shiny on my lips, and the way the red kind of bleeds all the way down, and all the little white bubbles around my eyes, they barely even hurt, I mean I actually kind of like it, do you love it, I LOVE it, I turned the comments back on so if you guys could just tell me how much you love it, that would be really…yeah. Thank you guys.
ERROR: This user’s account has been deactivated.
Hi everyone, it’s me—sorry for keeping my face out of the frame. I just wanted to give you guys an update because I was finally able to log back in last week to check my account. To be honest, I wasn’t even going to post at first, but then I saw in the comments from last month that a lot of you guys have been really worried about me, and I was, like, really touched. I’m good now, don’t worry. I’m at this wellness center in Utah, and it’s actually been pretty awesome, even though they barely let me use my phone. I’ve basically just been hanging out doing a lot of watercolor painting, and drawing with pastels.
Oh, and I also added to that mixed media picture I showed you guys before—the one with the leaves? See, I drew in my sister and me here, playing with Queenie. We used to play this game where we would hold her leash together and pretend she was our mom and have her lead us around. Like, we would literally make these yapping sounds and just follow her around to whatever she wanted to see—I know it sounds dumb, but it was so much fun—like we were the only two humans with this special dog filter for trees and food wrappers and other dogs and stuff, and we would do it for, like, hours, just my sister and me. And then one winter I guess we just stopped.
Anyway, I was kind of thinking about turning it into a card for my sister because of something she said before I got out here—she’s been a lot nicer after what happened, so that’s one silver lining I guess. Which is that when they first realized how serious it was, she was visiting me in the hospital and—sorry, give me a second.
Okay. Okay, I’m good. So basically, to heal the burns, they had to take this skin graft from my leg, right? Except my sister, she didn’t realize that’s where they took it from, so she—sorry! I don’t know why I can’t talk right now! It’s still just pretty, like, raw I guess.
She said she would give her skin for my surgery.
And I thought that was really nice.
I mean, I thought that was, like, really nice.
So yeah, since we’d been fighting a lot, it sort of got me thinking. You guys probably have a pretty messed-up view of her from all my videos, but she honestly rules! So I was thinking about maybe turning it into a thank-you card for her, just for saying they could take the graft from her. Even though she didn’t actually do it. You know?
Is that, like, crazy?
Thanks to Malcolm, Rachel, Charlie, and Jacob for notes on this story.
FYI I would like totally give you a skin graft too, just saying, LMK